You can download Rick Weisburd's Presentation Editing (and/or Translating) Scientific Research Manuscripts for Meaning from the January 23, 2010 Tokyo meeting using the following link:
● “Here are some helpful hints for you to consider”
その前の文章”… is to be prepared.”とうまくつなげて訳せるかどうかがポイント。
訳例: 「高齢のご家族の介護に備えて、暴風雨対策をしておくのも良いかもしれません。その際は、以下のヒントをお役立てください。」
● ”… during the power outrages and the lack of services that were not available.”
"services”は公共サービス、あるいはutility （水道やガス）とは限らない｡通信、医療、交通、保育・介護関連、店舗開業、商品配達、ごみ収集、郵便なども考えられる。
● 項目１“Stock up on incontinent supplies such as diapers, baby wipes…,
”such as”がどこまでさすのかは、2通りに解釈できる。 第１に、おしめ以外の「パンツやパッド」が省略されている（”incontinent supplies such as adult diapers (＋ pants ＋ pads)”という解釈（近所のドラッグストアの介護用品コーナーをチェックしました）。もう１つは、お尻ふきや手袋も含んだ ”such as diapers ＋ baby wipes ＋ gloves”という解釈（これらも介護用品コーナーに並んでいた）。またglovesは、介護の業界では「グローブ」とカタカナで使う例もあるようだが、一般にはまだ野球やボクシングで使うものを連想するのではないか？
● 項目1 “…and other personal care supplies”
“personal + care supplies(個人用介護用品)” とも解釈できるが、ここは”personal care +supplies” （パーソナルケア製品＝ヘアケア、オーラルケア、スキンケア、オーラルケアなど、体の手入れのために用いられる製品一般）ではないか。ただしGoogleで画像検索をすると、いずれも似たようなものが出てくる。
● 項目3 “These lights provide more room lighting like they are used to…,”
“more…like”「ランタン型は、一点を照らす懐中電灯より広い範囲を照らすので、いつもの照明の状態に近い」ということ。キャンプに持っていくようなランタンでは「通常より明るく」はならないと思う。
● 項目5 ”Your elder”
頻出するが、一々訳さなくても、文脈からわかる場合もある。
● 項目5 “Houston 、TX…Houston-Harris County 211 Special Needs Transportation Registry.”
テキサス＿州＿のハリス郡のなかにヒューストン＿市＿がある（呼び方や並べ方が不自然な人がいた。日本語では通常「東京都渋谷区・・・」のように列挙する）。“Special Needs Transportation” は、ワシントン州の法律では次のように定義されている：People with special transportation needs are defined in state law as people, including their attendants, who because of physical or mental disability, income status, or age, are unable to transport themselves or purchase transportation. [47.06B.012 RCW]. “Transport”は 英語ではヒトにもモノにも使うが、日本語の「輸送」や「搬送」は主にモノが対象である。交通分野でヒトを集合的に扱う際に「輸送（例：大量輸送機関）」、医療や介護の世界では自力で動けないヒトを運ぶのに「搬送（例：重傷者の搬送）」を使うが、いずれもヒトをひとりの人間として扱わない場合のような気がする。ちなみに日本には「災害時要援護者登録制度」がある。
● 項目6 “businesses…if they have no power…”
ここでは「ビジネス」は適当ではない。“power”は「力」と解釈していた人が多かったが、ここは「電気」。透析時の停電対策例はこちら。http://202.216.128.227/透析百科/25.03.htm
● “Always remember that your… that are out of the ordinary. Hurricanes certainly can be classified as not normal.”
この２つの文章は、たとえば”out of the ordinary”と “not normal”を「非常時」で統一して、「忘れてはならないのは、非常時には高齢者は混乱しがちだという点だ。そしてハリケーンはまさに『非常時』だといえるだろう」などと訳すと、すらっと読める。
No.114
項目１で解釈のちがいによる訳抜け（”and other personal care supplies”）があったのと、「お年寄り」とそれに対応する文体の使い方、項目６の「お年寄りを救う力を失った場合」、あるいは項目８の「予備として手動の車いすをお年寄りのために準備しておいた方がよいかもしれません」という冗長表現などが減点対象となりました。項目３（「・・・慣れ親しんでいる室内照明に近いうえ」）の訳し方は、5人の中で一番よかったと思います。
想像：課題文は表現が豊かな文章で、状況が目に浮かんで来ませんか？翻訳者としてではなく、まず一読者として原文を読み、自分がその立場になったときのことを想像してみてください。「very uncertain of changes」とはどのような状況なのでしょうか。柔らかい赤ちゃんのお尻を拭くのに使うのは「ペーパータオル」でしょうか？「ランタン型の照明」は「室内照明よりも明るく」というと少々無理がある気がします。「medications」を「常備薬」とすると、処方されている薬だから簡単には手に入らないから困るのだ、という著者の意図があまり伝わってきません。
140番
「予期することが不得手」「考慮すべき点」は、誤訳（超訳？）です。また「考慮すべき点をいくつかあげよう。」の一文は、文章の流れを止めてしまっているように感じました。「排泄処理用品」「ウェットティッシュ」は、もう一度リサーチしてください。「自分」および「これ」は、常にとは限りませんが使い方によってはレジスターが低くなるので注意してください。「Locate businesses your elder…」の文章には、「サービス提供者」「酸素提供者」「バックアップ対応」とこなれていない表現が集中しています。「没頭するのに良い手段」は唐突な印象があり、強いて「没頭」を使うとしても「嵐のことを忘れて没頭するには良い手段」の方が読み易い通常の日本語の語順ではないでしょうか。「平常でない状況の時」は、冗長表現と感じます（「非常時」で十分では？）。「少し気楽なもの」「支援方法」、「公共サービス」、「地区」は、ワードチョイスの問題として減点しました。
The judges of the 6th annual JAT translation contest for new and aspiring translators (Japanese to English) have made their final decision, and the results are as follows:
There were 39 entrants and the semi-finalists in the Japanese to English division, in order of the numbers assigned to their entries, were:
99. Monica Kassab
108. Jillian Nonaka
120. Jason Morgan
123. Stephen Jensen
162. Elise Kavanagh
After much deliberation, the judges awarded prizes as follows:
First place: No. 162, Elise Kavanagh
Second place: No. 108, Jillian Nonaka
Many thanks to everyone who applied. Choosing the winners was a difficult task, given the number of entries and their level. Even if you did not win, we hope you found the contest to be a challenging and worthwhile exercise, and we hope that some of you will try again next year.
Charles Aschmann
Manako Ihaya
Contest Liaison
Commentaries from the Judges
Malcolm James
The stated purpose of the contest is "to cultivate new talent in commercial non-literary translation." In judging, I was trying to find the person with the most talent to become a top commercial translator, not the person who produced the best translation at this stage. Simple misinterpretations are likely to disappear with experience, so I regard them as less of a problem than if this were an actual commercial translation. I’m much less willing, however, to be lenient on translators who submit a translation that doesn’t seem to have got a final read-through, or who produce a translation that doesn’t seem to have considered the document’s context and purpose. Each of the entries commented on below has its own merits and displays the signs of a competent translator. All the finalists have the potential to be good commercial translators and are to be congratulated on their efforts.
General points
This year's passage for translation was very dense. Careful reading of both the passage and of its context on the website were essential to ensure full understanding. The translators consequently had to do a lot of research, both to confirm the meaning of the original, and to check appropriateness of phrasing for the translation. The section on medical infrastructure proved particularly difficult, with none of the finalists or other entrants producing a completely "correct" translation. However, the difficulty of the task gave the entrants a good opportunity to demonstrate their skills at translating with both accuracy and readability.
Specific points for #099
This translation was easy to read, and had some very good phrasing. Examples that stood out include "offer telecommuting options," and "for children who need a place to go after school." However, simplifications to aid legibility often went too far, resulting in mistranslations such as a "City of 42 Million" (not just one city, surely) and "Pedestrian crossing with bicycle lane ..." (the crossing in the photo doesn't appear to have a separate bicycle lane.) The translator writes well, so further improvement would come from going through the Japanese text again after finishing the translation to check that all the content of the original has been covered.
Specific points for #108
This translation was well written and easy to read, but there were areas where it hinted that the translator did not really understand the document and how it related to the overall context. For instance, this document was one page of a pdf containing basically one project per page, so it seemed odd to have "projects" plural in the title. Also, it seems odd to say "we are working to ..." in the introductory paragraph when the project has not yet got the goahead. In contrast, subsection titles were well thought out and well translated. I particularly liked "Revitalizing our planned communities" for succinctly conveying the basic point that the Japanese postwar New Towns are no longer new. How to improve? Think more about the overall context to gain a deeper understanding of the document before translating. A "reality check" of the finished translation would also be helpful. For instance, look at the map and ask, "does Tokyo really only have about a dozen highways?" With a deeper understanding of the documents to be translated, the translation and writing skills shown here provide the potential for this entrant to become a very good translator.
Specific points for #120
The translator had obviously understood the overall context of the document and tried hard to convey all the meaning, showing flair for translation through phrases like "... running community buses." However, the translation was let down by being hard to read and by mistranslations such as "flex-time" and "typical" sidewalk (probably "ideal"/"model"). The mistranslations are likely to disappear as the translator gains experience, so to improve, the translator needs to work on his/her style. Start by looking for instance at how 108 handled the introductory paragraph, expressing almost the same information in only half the number of words.
Specific points for #123
This translation had some very good translations of the public sector terminology, and fewer errors than any of the other finalists but sometimes ending up being more difficult to read than the original. For instance, the introductory paragraph could have been shorter or split into more than one sentence. However, I particularly liked phrases such as "diverse housing options," integrated components," and "repurposing." The danger of adding explanations to the original was demonstrated by adding a note that defined the Tokyo metropolitan region in a way that incorrectly excluded places like Hachioji. Improvement would come by spending more time on rephrasing the translation for legibility without losing the accuracy that is this translator's strong point.
Specific points for #162
This translation was a little hard to read, but achieved a good overall balance between readability and accuracy. Most importantly, the translator gave the impression of having largely understood what the text was talking about. This understanding was then enhanced by neat but still accurate translations such as "Ensuring ample space for bicycles and pedestrians." How to improve? First of all, I strongly recommend doing a rigorous numbers and omissions check before delivery. That would probably eliminate embarrassing errors such as putting 2005 in the future and missing out one of the captions. Overall though, this was the translation that most demonstrated the entrant's potential to become a top commercial translator.
Ken Wagner
"Let's 徹底 Everything"
Subject line of a query on the Honyaku
mailing list ([email protected])
At the very moment I submit this commentary, a five-day-long debate on the Honyaku mailing list continues to rage over how to handle the relentless overuse of 徹底(する) in a piece of hyperbolic company literature. A reasonable suggestion was to consider 徹底 an adverb and insert the appropriate verb (do whatever thoroughly, exhaustively, meticulously, comprehensively, rigorously). The thread has grown to almost 50 messages, has apparently spawned some hurt feelings, and has still not abated.
The Honyaku poster's quandary with 徹底 embodies one of the major challenges facing this year's JAT Translation Contest participants – translating a message that could easily be obscured by bureaucratese. The number of responses evoked by the 徹底 question on the Honyaku list is evidence of the difficultly – or at least the labor – involved in rendering trite bureaucratic jargon into readable and informative English. I would therefore like to say early on that all five finalists did an excellent job of circumventing the bureaucratese to bring a clear message to the reader. For fairness' sake, however, it should probably also be said that in some instances, these words were actually used to convey their basic meanings.
The passage for the Japanese to English portion of 2009 JAT Translation Contest was 人口4,200万人が暮らしやすく美しい地域の実現 – a piece of fairly interesting and valuable information obscured by a familiar list of bureaucratic buzzwords – 徹底, 充実, 実現, 推進, 促進, 提供, and 整備. The contest passage is a development plan for residential communities for a Greater Tokyo Area coping with a rapidly aging population and declining birthrate. The passage was taken from the website of the Regional Development Bureau of the Japanese Ministry of Land, Infrastructure, Transport, and Tourism.
Judging Technique and Results
To evaluate the translations, I first read them without referring to the Japanese text and ranked them based on the sound of the English and whether they seem to make sense. (In the case of this year's JAT contest, I hadn't seen Japanese text for at least two months.) I then use a modified form of the ATA grading scale to mark errors and examples of particularly good writing or interpretation and obtain negative and positive numerical scores. I also compared the translations of a list of key terms to assess the amount of research done and, as a result, how familiar the entrants seemed to be with the subject matter. This produced a numerical score for amount of research done. I then compared these numerical scores with my initial subjective judgments and made a final subjective decision on which translation was best conformed to the translation instructions at the beginning of the passage and also demonstrated potential for growth on the part of the translator.
When I read the entries without reference to the Japanese text (after not looking at the Japanese text for a couple of months), I ranked Elise Kavanagh's entry the highest for subjective impression. It was smooth and tightly written and contained very few translation artifacts. After Elise, Monica Kassab, Jillian Nonaka, and Jason Morgan's entries seemed equal in readability to me, although Jason's had obviously been filled out with explanatory information not evident in the other translations. Stephen Jensen's entry had more of a translated sound to my ear, although it turned out to be quite accurate.
I modified the ATA grading scale for the JAT contest. The actual ATA scale only identifies errors (misunderstanding, grammatical errors, inappropriate register, etc.). I added a positive scale to reflect traits like accuracy and elegance (or eloquence) and to produce a positive score for lines that were translated well.
Using the ATA grading scale, the results were Jillian Nonaka (negative, 55; positive, 33), Elise Kavanagh (negative, 66; positive, 30), Stephen Jensen (negative, 77; positive, 26), and Monica Kassab (negative, 93; positive, 28), and Jason Morgan (negative, 96; positive, 19).
I tried to evaluate the amount of research done independent of language comprehension and target writing errors. To do this, I selected 12 key words that identify how much research or reading on the subject was done. The terms or translations I preferred could be found by 1) reading county social service or urban planning websites from the United States (e.g., http://dentoncounty.com/socialservices.asp for social services), 2) searching the term in question alone in quotes on Google and working through to an English definition (e.g., through Wikipedia), or 3) searching the term and とは in quotes on Google. The terms were:
1. 福祉 (social services, not welfare)
2. 子育て (not child-rearing)
3. 重層的 (something like multi-tiered)
4. 保育所 (something like daycare, not nursery [school])
5. 介護 (something like assisted living, not nursing home)
6. 視覚障害者誘導用ブロック (tactile paving, truncated domes, detectable warnings, tactile ground surface indicators, detectable warning surfaces)
7. イメージ (artist's conception when appropriate)
8. ニュウータウン等 (explained in some way)
9. デイサービスセンター (identified as a facility for seniors)
10. (疾病ごとの)医療連携体制 (translation shows a description has been read in Japanese)
11. 消防 (emergency services, not firemen/fire department)
12. 新型インフレンザ (this year, H1N1)
Here, "yes" means the rendering of a term shows evidence of research/reading on the subject and "no" means the rendering doesn't show that research was done. The scores were, in descending order: Elise Kavanagh (yes, 7 terms; no, 5 terms), Jason Morgan (yes, 6½ terms; no, 5½ terms), Jillian Nonaka (yes, 4 terms; no, 8 terms), Stephen Jensen (yes, 4 terms; no, 8 terms), and Monica Kassab (yes, 2½ terms; no, 9½ terms).
As a result, Elise Kavanagh and Jillian Nonaka came out in the lead, but were very close. Elise had the highest subjective impression and research scores. Jillian had the highest modified ATA score (accuracy and individual flashes of eloquence), was in third place for research, and was in a three-way tie for second place in subjective impression.
Individual Renderings
I should repeat that Elise Kavanagh and Jillian Nonaka were very close, very little distinguished the two. In fact, one judge chose Jillian's as the first-place entry, and quite a bit of deliberation among the judges was required before finally deciding on Elise's entry. I selected Elise's entry because objectively, Elise appeared to have done the most research and, subjectively, the translation elicited the most positive visceral reaction on the initial read. This difference may have rested on only a few key words and phrases that made Elise's version seem less translated. For example, Elise simply stated that the Tokyo area population will peak, used the term "multi-tiered" (approach), and avoided a translated sound in the turn of phrase "supporting families and ensuring the safety and security of children." While Jillian Nonaka had many turns of phrase that I considered eloquent, the use of the following English terms and phrases may have triggered a negative visceral reaction: "child-rearing" (antiquated), "stratified plans" (in this context), "nursery schools" (antiquated), and the phrase "setting up nursery schools during the renovation of public housing complexes" (rather than something "like incorporating daycare centers into public housing").
As for the three remaining contestants, who all turned in good translations, Jason Morgan's chief misstep was over-explaining the text, perhaps explaining it to himself, while Monica Kassab sacrificed meaning for elegant English. I can sympathize Jason and Monica and do not consider these missteps an obstacle to further development because I went through both of these phases myself. Where Elise and others simply translated 公共賃貸宅等の建替えに併せた福祉施設の併設・誘致 as something like "housing redevelopments which include or attract new welfare centers," Jason said "building welfare facilities in conjunction with the rebuilding of public housing projects and inviting bids for similar construction projects." While bids and construction projects may be required, there was no mention of them in the text and this is information that the reader can figure out for himself (or doesn't need to know, depending upon whether he is a potential resident or contractor). At the other end of the spectrum, Monica dropped large pieces of text for the sake of elegance. She translated 地域内の医師の確保方策の推進、かかりつけ医やかかりつけ薬局の普及による適切な医療の機能分担の推進、疾病ごとの医療連携体制の構築など地域医療体制の充実 (accomplish x by doing three things) as "promote the increased use of local doctors and pharmacies to properly distribute the burden on these facilities" (accomplish x by doing two things). This rendering omitted 疾病ごとの医療連携体制の構築 – develop coordinated response systems for individual diseases. Monica also omitted similar units of meaning in other passages in other passages.
Once again, I would like to express my appreciation for the effort and care that went into the translations in this year's contest, thank all of the contestants for participating, and congratulate the finalists and winner.
Lee Seaman
Comments on JAT Translation Contest entries
This was an excellent group of translations. My compliments to all of the finalists, and my thanks to the organizers of the contest for providing this showcase for new translation talent.
This is a challenging piece. In order to make sense of it, the translator had to not only convey the meaning of the Japanese words, but also to understand the document in the context of Japanese society and public housing policy.
Each finalist made at least a few errors. My picks for first and second place were those passages that I felt most clearly communicated the underlying meaning of the Japanese with the fewest areas of serious misunderstanding.
Working premises
The instructions for the contest were clear. The translation is for a government website, publication quality, for native English speaking readers, and the translator is to incorporate explanatory notes if necessary.
Based on these instructions, I made the assumption that the translation should be easy to read and friendly in tone (more so, for example, than a journal article on a study of innovative cancer therapy in lab rats). So in addition to looking for translation accuracy, I also evaluated each passage on how well it conveyed the message of the original text, and I penalized awkward expressions more than I would in a translation that was primarily for information.
General comments
Here are three points in the Japanese document that I thought were particularly challenging.
1) 地域優良賃貸住宅
This caption in the second figure was translated by the five finalists as “deluxe public housing,” “high-quality rental apartments,” “high quality apartments,” “high quality local rental housing,” and “local upscale apartment complex.” The judges had a lively discussion over this term, too, including some very helpful input from one of the E-J judges, who told us that 地域優良賃貸住宅 is a relatively new system combining 特定優良賃貸住宅（「特優賃」とくゆうちん） and 高齢者向け優良賃貸住宅（「高優賃」こうゆうちん）and that probably the reference in this case is to（「高優賃」）.
I found a useful paper at http://www.city.oshu.iwate.jp/www/contents/1221024338243/files/seibikijun.pdf. Chapter 4 describes the augmentations that are specified for senior residences; they are not really “luxury” or “upscale” so much as they are designed for the safety and comfort of seniors living alone. So one possible translation would be “public housing with augmented safety features for seniors.” But of course that means adding quite a lot of material that is not included in the text. I would probably translate it as “senior-friendly public housing” or “rental housing with augmented features,” and add a note asking the client to confirm.
2) New Town
Two translators left this “as is” in the English translation. Although the term “New Town” is widely used in English, in this case the term is combined with 再生,so clearly these “new towns” are actually quite old. To reduce reader confusion (“Why are they revitalizing a new town?”) I would recommend “planned community” or “planned residential community” instead.
3) 地域子育て支援拠点の整備等乳幼児を持つ親が気軽に交流・相談できる場の提供
The term 乳幼児 is often translated, even in J-E medical dictionaries, as “infant,” but that is incorrect. An infant is technically a child under 12 months old, and the word is not used much in casual speech. “Babies, toddlers, and preschoolers” would be accurate here, but the best translation in this context is simply “small children.”
Individual comments
1) No. 162
A workmanlike translation that does a good job of communicating the meaning of the website. Prose is straightforward and clean. The heading “5. An urban development initiative to meet the needs of a society with a low birth rate and an aging population” is particularly clear, and sets the tone for the remainder of the article.
The statement that “ … the population over the age of 65 years will grow to 20% in 2005 and 30% in 2025” implies that this article was written before 2005. It should have been “ … will grow from 20% in 2005 to 30% in 2025.” And toward the end of the article, “ … fire and medical organizations” would be easier to read if it were restated as “fire departments and medical organizations,” or even “fire departments (ambulance) and medical organizations” for greater clarity.
The author of No.162 appears to be a very competent translator, but some of the English phrases sound a little awkward to my ear. This could be improved by working for awhile with an experienced editor, and perhaps by reading translations aloud after they are finished. (I read most of my translations aloud during checking, and always find awkward spots that didn’t show up during writing.)
2) No. 108
Very readable prose, with some beautifully translated phrases. In a document like this, headings are especially important for communicating the underlying message, and No. 108 provided some excellent headings, including “good for everyone in an aging society,” “revitalizing our planned communities,” and “constructing a medical system that instills a sense of safety and peace of mind.
Unfortunately this translation also has a relatively high percentage of errors and potentially confusing expressions. I found two major examples. On page 1, “renting out housing that belongs to senior citizens” suggests that the government might be taking away the houses of seniors. On page 3, “Wide sidewalks for pedestrians which resolve the problems of height differences” does not mention that these new wide sidewalks are for bicyclists as well as pedestrians, and “height differences” confused me. (Will all pedestrians be the same height?) Something like “curb-free crosswalks” would work better.
Passage #108 shows real writing talent. Additional attention to accuracy will provide a promising future in translation.
Other translations:
No. 099: A good translation, fluent and easy to read, and provides a good impression of the website, but less clear and with a higher level of errors and awkward expressions than the two winners. For example, “the borrowing and rerenting of houses” is confusing, and suggests that the government will take elderly people’s homes without paying. ニュータウン等の再生 was translated as “Creating the New Town,” which implies that new communities will be built from scratch. “Rejuvenating” would be a better choice. In the section on rebuilding the healthcare system, “ … use of local doctors and pharmacies to properly distribute the burden on these facilities” should have been something like “… use of local doctors and pharmacies to redistribute the overall burden on medical facilities,” and no reference to telemedicine was included for 遠隔医療.The translation of photo captions was generally good; my favorite is “Pedestrian crossing with bicycle lane and no curb.”
No. 120: A good command of technical language, and very precise, but a little stilted and wordy for this particular passage. For example, in the first sentence, “As a consequence of the realities of Japanese society, which is becoming increasingly elderly, on average with a steadily decreasing number of children being conceived” could be rewritten as “Japanese society is growing older, with fewer children born every year, and …” 疾病ごとの医療連携体制の構築 refers to developing a coordinated medical response for specific diseases; if that is what was meant by linking “individual hospitals into a wider medical care network,” the connection should be spelled out in greater detail. I really liked the caption, “Artist’s rendition of an integrated complex featuring public housing projects and social welfare facilities.”
No. 123: A solid translation, indicating a good understanding of the material, with some very well-crafted expressions and some unfortunate awkward spots. Awkward expressions included “amplifying information exchange” (I would recommend “expediting” or “improving” rather than “amplifying”) and “fostering businesses who take on local issues” (“encouraging businesses to take on local issues” would be easier to understand). Errors included the omission of “tertiary” in the Japanese expression 三次救急医療機関,and the erroneous use of “intensive care” rather than “emergency” in that same passage. Some of my personal favorites were “mobile clinics and telemedicine,” “ostomate-accessible toilets,” “Stimulate civic involvement in local town management,” and “promoting physician recruitment strategies.”
A final word
This year’s documents were generally quite clearly formatted. Several candidates used italics to set off the caption headings, making them easier to find on the page, and one person even cut out the graphics from the Japanese PDF and pasted them into the English document. That’s not required, but it does make the job of the judge or client easier. (In that light, I recommend that future candidates format their passages in proportional font rather than monospaced font like Courier or MS Gothic – the files come to the judges as PDFs, and proportional font is generally much easier to read when we print the documents out for review.)
I also strongly recommend that you ask questions of your colleagues if you are not sure of the meaning of a certain phrase or paragraph. Obviously it is unethical to have someone else translate the document for you, or to substantially rewrite what you have translated. But the JAT contest is designed to be somewhat like a “real” translation job for an actual translation agency, and one test of a good translator is his or her network of experts on call. If your native language is English, develop some knowledgeable NSJ friends with whom you exchange information. A number of the errors in these passages could have been avoided by a few strategic questions to a trusted colleague.
Again, my congratulations to all contestants on a job well-done. I look forward to watching your growth as translation professionals.
SIXTH ANNUAL JAT CONTEST FOR NEW AND ASPIRING TRANSLATORS FINAL RESULTS (Japanese to English)
The judges of the 6th annual JAT translation contest for new and aspiring translators (Japanese to English) have made their final decision, and the results are as follows:
There were 39 entrants and the semi-finalists in the Japanese to English division, in order of the numbers assigned to their entries, were:
99. Monica Kassab
108. Jillian Nonaka
120. Jason Morgan
123. Stephen Jensen
162. Elise Kavanagh
After much deliberation, the judges awarded prizes as follows:
First place: No. 162, Elise Kavanagh
Second place: No. 108, Jillian Nonaka
Many thanks to everyone who applied. Choosing the winners was a difficult task, given the number of entries and their level. Even if you did not win, we hope you found the contest to be a challenging and worthwhile exercise, and we hope that some of you will try again next year.
Section 2 Creating a Livable, Beautiful City of 42 Million
(5) Project for the Adaptation of the Community to an Aging Population
In order to deal with issues arising from a rapidly aging society, such as health care, social services and housing, we must promote the development of towns and housing that are comfortable and safe for everyone, from the elderly to those raising children.
* The population of Tokyo is expected to peak in 2010 and decline thereafter.
** The elderly population of Tokyo was approximately 20% in 2005 and is expected to increase to approximately 30% in 2025.
Details of the Plan
Child-Rearing Support and Ensuring Children’s Safety
• Offer multi-layered support for access to housing suitable for child-rearing households, including priority status for renting public housing and establishment of a system for the borrowing and re-renting of houses owned by the elderly.
• As part of the redevelopment of the city, establish childcare centers near neighborhoods of remodeled public rental housing, utilizing empty buildings near train stations, etc.
• Sponsor the establishment of neighborhood child-rearing support centers where parents of young children can chat and exchange ideas.
• Encourage businesses to offer telecommuting options and work towards a better work-life balance for employees.
• Establish after-school classes, clubs, etc. for children who need a place to go after school.
• Promote measures to ensure the safety of children walking to and from school, such as the installation of sidewalks on roads leading to schools, neighborhood crime watch patrols, and installation of street lights.
An example of a road used by students with a sidewalk.
Creating a Neighborhood Where the Elderly and Disabled Feel Secure
• Offer multi-layered housing support including priority status for renting public housing and promotion of the provision of rental packages which include services aimed at senior citizens.
• Create neighborhoods where the elderly are looked after, for example by inviting nursing homes and other social service facilities to locate near remodeled public rental housing, sponsoring services to check on senior citizens which utilize neighborhood support networks, securing commitments by NPO’s to provide transportation services, etc.
• Promote the use of Universal Design in public transportation, housing and other buildings, public open spaces, etc.
• Install guide tiles in flooring for the vision-impaired, ostomate-friendly toilets, etc.
An image of public rental housing with attached social services facility.
Remodeled public housing.
Deluxe public housing.
Day service center, child care center and other facilities.
Pedestrian crossing with bicycle lane and no curb.
Creating the New Town
• Facilitate the diversification of household membership through such means as priority renting status for families with young children or elderly members, and inviting child care centers and other social service facilities to locate near housing complexes.
• Encourage neighborhood management through the cultivation of the talent who will create the New Town, creation of neighborhood rules by residents, cultivation of local businesses, etc.
• Create a vital neighborhood through the use of PFI’s to build private sector know-how and funding.
Building a Safe Health Care System
• Promote the increased use of local doctors and pharmacies to properly distribute the burden on these facilities.
• Provide public transportation to medical facilities, and traveling doctors to serve remote areas.
• Create a regional emergency medical system providing increased access to emergency medical services including complete information-sharing between fire departments and medical professionals, introduction of medical helicopters, and maintenance of the highway network.
• Strengthen measures to contain the New Type Influenza and other infectious diseases.
Regional Map of Access to Advanced Emergency Medical Services
Legend
Advanced Emergency Medical Facility
Expressway
Under 15 Minutes
15 to 30 Minutes
30 to 45 Minutes
45 to 60 Minutes
Over 60 Minutes
応募番号108番
[Note from Contest Organizers: Graphical elements translated as graphics not reproduced here]
Section 2: Making a beautiful and comfortable environment a reality for our 42 million residents
(5) Regional development projects which are good for everyone in an aging society
Japan’s low birth rate and its aging society both bring with them a host of issues in the fields of medicine, welfare, and housing. In order to resolve these issues, we are working to create comfortable cities and living spaces, where it is easy to raise children and where our seniors -- and all of our residents -- can feel safe and at ease.
*The population of the Greater Tokyo Area is expected to peak in 2010 and then fall into decline
*The proportion of the elderly (over 65) population in the Greater Tokyo Area was approximately 20% in 2005 and is expected to increase to approximately 30% by 2025
A detailed look at our plans
Providing support for child-rearing and ensuring the safety and security of children
- Stratified plans to provide housing for families with children, including giving priority for public rental housing to those families which are raising children, as well as renting out housing that belongs to senior citizens in order to sublet it to families which are raising children
- Setting up nursery schools during the renovation of public rental housing complexes and urban redevelopment projects, as well as setting up nursery schools and other facilities by actively using currently empty properties near train stations
- Creating spaces where the parents of infants can easily interact with one another and seek advice by providing facilities such as local child-rearing support centers
- Promoting the move among businesses towards telecommuting and realizing a healthy work-life balance
- Ensuring that there is a place for children to go after school by setting up after-school classes and clubs
- Implementing safety measures for students going to and from school by better outfitting the sidewalks that students use to commute, having local safety patrol groups watch over the routes, and keeping the streets lit at night
One example of a sidewalk designed primarily for students going to and from school
Making this a region where our senior citizens can live comfortably
- Stratified plans to provide housing for our senior citizens, such as giving them priority for public rental housing and encouraging the construction of housing with services for senior citizens
- Regional development which will look after senior citizens and others by setting up regional nursing homes and other welfare centers, establishing welfare facilities during the renovation of public rental housing, providing care by putting our regional networks to active use, and offering comprehensive transportation services through NPOs or other organizations
- Promoting the movement towards “universal design” for public transportation, housing, architecture, streets, and more.
- Installing daily living aids such as tactile tile blocks for the visually impaired and toilets equipped for those who have undergone an ostomy procedure
An illustration of a combined public rental housing facility and welfare institute
Wide sidewalks for pedestrians which resolve the problems of height differences
Revitalizing our planned communities
- Diversifying households and the generational makeup of communities by giving housing priority to both families raising children and senior citizens, as well as establishing and inviting in nursery schools and welfare facilities
- Moving forward with an area management plan which will foster the human resources to carry out the revitalization of our planned communities, establish regulations for making communities which are focused around their residents and cultivate community businesses
- Stimulating vital areas by proactively using the know-how and capital of the people, such as through the Private Finance Initiative (PFI)
Constructing a medical system that instills a sense of safety and peace of mind
- Fully developing the regional healthcare systems by promoting policies to ensure that there are doctors in local areas, to encourage sharing the burden of certain aspects of medical care through the spread of family drugstores and to build a cooperative healthcare system for each illness
- Creating widespread support for areas without doctors by implementing a remote medicine system and having visiting practitioners, as well as ensuring that medical institutions can be reached by public transportation, such as a community bus service
- Establishing a widespread emergency medicine system that ensures access to emergency medicine facilities through the arterial road network, the introduction of air ambulances and the thorough dissemination of information regarding the services of the fire department and medical institutions
- Strengthening countermeasures against infectious diseases like the H1N1 flu virus
Accessibility in the areas surrounding tertiary emergency medicine centers
応募番号120番
Section Two: Creating a Beautiful and Comfortable Home for Forty-Two Million Residents
(5) Regional Planning Project Adapted to an Aging, Low-Birthrate Society—Creating Spaces where People from All Walks of Life Can Feel at Home
As a consequence of the realities of Japanese society, which is becoming increasingly elderly on average with a steadily decreasing number of children being conceived, we are faced with a host of problems on a wide variety of fronts, such as in the fields of medical care, social welfare and housing. In order to rise to the challenges posed by these issues, we are moving forward with the development of amenable communities and residential spaces which are well-disposed to the needs of parents raising children, and where all citizens, especially the elderly, may live in safety and comfort.
• The population of the Greater Tokyo Metropolitan Area will begin to decline after peaking in the year 2010.
• While roughly twenty percent of the population of the Greater Tokyo Metropolitan Area was over the age of sixty-five as of the year 2005, this figure will increase to approximately thirty percent by the year 2025.
Details of Specific Approaches to be Taken
Child-Rearing Support, and Ensuring Children's Safety and Comfort
• Priority leasing when applying for public rented housing, sub-leasing of residential units owned by elderly citizens to households raising children, and the formulation of other such measures designed to provide multi-tiered residential support for child-rearing households.
• Preparation of nursery schools in conjunction with urban redevelopment or the rebuilding of public housing projects, or by utilizing empty retail shop spaces in the vicinity of train stations.
• Establishment of community child-raising support centers where parents of infant children may freely seek advice while interacting with other parents.
• Promoting job-seeking at companies incorporating tele-commuting and flex-time work systems.
• Providing children with after-school gathering places, such as by establishing after-school study sessions and after-school kids' clubs.
• Promoting policies designed to provide for the safety of children commuting to and from school, such as by laying down sidewalks along school commuting routes, encouraging community child protection through the formation of crime-prevention patrol teams, and installing lighting for children walking to or from school outside of daylight hours.
Typical sidewalk used mainly as a commuting route for school-age children. [photo caption]
Creating communities amenable to elderly residents
• Multi-tiered residential support, such as priority leasing when applying for public rented housing, and providing residences with services and amenities especially designed to suit the needs of elderly residents.
• Developing communities wherein elderly residents are protected and cared for through the establishment of social welfare centers such as community caregiving facilities, building welfare facilities in conjunction with the rebuilding of public housing projects, and inviting bids for similar construction projects; providing protective services which make full use of pre-existing local community networks; and working together with non-profit organizations and other groups to implement full-scale transportation services.
• Promoting the implementation of barrier-free “universal design” for transportation infrastructure, residences and buildings, and pedestrian spaces accessible by all.
• Installing yellow guide blocks in pavement for use by the visually impaired, and equipping restrooms with special facilities for those who have undergone ileostomy, colostomy or urostomy medical procedures.
Artist's rendition of an integrated complex featuring public housing projects and social welfare facilities [caption]
Rebuilt public residences [caption]
Local upscale apartment complex [caption]
Daytime Senior Activity Center / Nursery school facilities [caption]
Crosswalks for use by both cyclists and pedestrians must be kept sufficiently wide, and curbs fronting crosswalks must be made flush with the street [caption]
Revitalization of New Town
• Diversifying household and generational makeup through priority leasing for households with elderly members and households raising children, and building day care facilities in conjunction with welfare facilities.
• Promoting area management through cultivating personnel to carry out the revitalization of New Town, drawing up rules for urban planning to be carried out by residents and nurturing community businesses
• Actively incorporating PFI (Private Finance Initiative) approaches to create a revitalized, vigorous region through the proactive use of private sector acumen and capital.
Creation of a Safe and Secure Medical Care System
• Fully implementing a community medical care system by promoting policies aimed at allowing medical professionals to continue practicing within the community, promoting the efficient sharing of medical care duties by providing for more personal care physicians and neighborhood pharmacies, and creating a medical system which links individual hospitals into a wider medical care network.
• Pursuing broad-based measures to assist those who live in areas without medical care facilities nearby, such as by running community buses in an effort to guarantee transportation to medical institutions, and promoting the provision of “house call” mobile medical services and medical care to those in outlying areas.
• Establishing a broad-based emergency medical care system by thoroughly implementing a shared-information system for firefighters and medical institutions, introducing medical evacuation helicopter airlift services, and streamlining the network of main thoroughfares, all of which are designed to ensure access to emergency medical treatment.
• Enhancing response measures to new strains of the influenza virus such as the H1N1 swine flu.
Map of areas accessible from tertiary emergency medical institutions [caption]
[Box within illustration:]
Legend
[yellow square] Tertiary medical institution
[red line] High-speed expressway
[purple square] Less than 15 min.
[blue square] 15 to 29 min.
[gray square] 30 to 44 min.
[aquamarine square] 45 to 59 min.
[light blue square] 60 min. or longer
応募番号123番
Section 2: Realizing an Attractive, Livable Region for 42 Million People
(5) Development Project to Adapt Communities Equitably to Population Aging and Decline
To address mounting problems in medicine, welfare, housing and other sectors brought on by a declining birthrate and aging population, the Tokyo metropolitan region will promote town and housing development that facilitates raising children and that enables not only the aged but all people to live in safety and comfort.
* Regional population will decline after peaking in 2010
* The percentage of aged people (65 years and older) in the region will rise from approximately 20 to 30 percent between 2005 and 2025.
Project Details
Child Rearing Support; Child Safety and Security
• Provide diverse housing options for households with children, such as prioritized entry into public rental apartments, and by creating a system in which housing owned by senior citizens is rented out to households with children.
• Set up day nurseries as integrated components of rebuilt public apartment complexes and urban redevelopment projects, and by repurposing vacant retail units near train stations.
• Provide venues where parents with infants or preschoolers can interact or seek guidance, such as community child rearing support centers.
• Motivate companies to implement telework and work-life balance initiatives.
• Provide environments in which children can spend time after school by organizing after-school classes and clubs.
• Improve safety and security during school commuting hours through proper construction and maintenance of sidewalks on routes to schools, community-based child supervision such as crime-watch patrols, and adequate nighttime illumination.
Example of newly maintained sidewalks used primarily as school routes
Strategies to Help Aged People Lead Worry-free Lives
• Provide diverse housing options by prioritizing entry into public rental apartments, and by increasing the supply of housing equipped with services for the elderly.
• Develop local assistance services for seniors by constructing nursing facilities and other welfare centers, integrating welfare facilities as components of public apartment reconstruction projects, providing supervision services using residential networks, and by enhancing transport services through cooperation with NPOs and other groups.
• Boost the application of universal design in transportation, housing and architectural structures, pedestrian spaces and other environments.
• Install and maintain tactile navigational aids on sidewalks for the visually impaired, ostomate-accessible toilets, and other aids.
Illustration: Integrated Development of Public Housing and Welfare Facilities
• Rebuilt Public Housing
• High-quality Rental Apartments
• Adult and Children’s Daycare Centers
Widened sidewalks with leveled surfaces for pedestrians and cyclists
Revitalization of New Towns
• Increase family and generational diversity in neighborhoods by prioritizing housing entry in favor of families with children or seniors, and by integrating the development of new day nurseries and welfare facilities.
• Stimulate civic involvement in local town management by cultivating leaders in town renewal, allowing citizens to take a major role in the drafting of community development rules, and by fostering businesses who take on local issues.
• Restore economic vitality to communities by utilizing private sector expertise and capital, as with PFI-related methods.
Constructing a Safe and Reliable Medical System
• Enhance regional medical care by promoting physician recruitment strategies, by increasing the number of primary care clinics and local pharmacies to balance the division of roles between institutions, and by developing a coordinated medical care response for each type of condition.
• Broaden service outreach to doctorless districts by providing dependable transportation such as community buses to medical facilities, and by promoting mobile clinics and telemedicine.
• Develop a far-reaching emergency medical system by amplifying information exchange between medical and fire institutions, by introducing medical helicopters, and by assuring access to emergency care through construction and maintenance of major road networks.
• Strengthen policies to control infectious diseases, such as new strains of the influenza virus.
Regional Accessibility to Medical Institutions that Provide Intensive Care
• Legend
• Medical Facility
• Highway
• < 15 minutes
• 15 - 30 min.
• 30 - 45 min.
• 45 - 60 min.
• ≥ 60 min.
______________________________
Notes:
1) The Tokyo metropolitan region is defined here as the area encompassing Tokyo city and the seven surrounding prefectures of Kanagawa, Saitama, Chiba, Ibaraki, Tochigi, Gunma, and Yamanashi.
2) Community buses in Japan contrast with purely public or private bus systems in that a municipality contributes in some capacity to its private operation, often but not exclusively by subsidizing operational costs.
応募番号162番
Section 2. Creating a comfortable and beautiful environment for 42 million people
5. An urban development initiative to meet the needs of a society with a low birth rate and an aging population
This initiative will meet the challenges accompanying a society with a rapidly advancing aging population and low birth rate, across all areas including medicine, welfare and housing. It will support families raising children and provide a safe and comfortable living environment for the elderly, and all members of society.
Notes
• The population of the Tokyo Metropolitan Area is set to peak in 2010.
• The proportion of the population over the age of 65 years will grow to 20% in 2005 and 30% in 2025.
Specific measures
Supporting families and ensuring the safety and security of children
• Establishing a multi-tiered system for families raising children by providing priority for publicly funded housing and the leasing of housing from the elderly by the government for subleasing to families
• Rebuilding public housing developments and city redevelopments to include childcare facilities and the allocation of vacant shops around stations for use as child care centers
• Establishing support centers for parents with young children allowing for informal interaction with other parents
• Helping business work towards telecommuting and a better work-life balance
• Ensuring a place for children after school such as after school classes and activities for children
• Implementing measures for the safety of children during travel to and from school such as the creation of walking routes in school zones, supervision by safety patrol groups, and ensuring well-lit areas
[Image] A walking route in a school zone
Creating a safe and secure living environment for the elderly
• Establishing a multi-tiered system for the elderly including priority for public housing and the promotion of housing with special services
• Looking after the needs of the elderly through establishing community welfare centers such as nursing homes; housing redevelopments which include or attract new welfare facilities; the use of local networks to care for the elderly; and transport services provided by NPOs
• Promoting universal design for public transportation, housing and other buildings, and pedestrian spaces
• Installing facilities such as tactile paving for the visually impaired and restroom facilities suitable for people with ostomies
[Image] Integrated public housing and welfare facilities
[Captions L>R] Public housing reconstruction
Daytime support center and day care center
High quality apartments
[Image] Ensuring ample space for bicycles and pedestrians and eliminating raised curbs on sidewalks
Revitalizing residential areas
• Diversifying households and age groups by giving priority for public housing to the elderly and families raising children; and attracting and establishing childcare and welfare facilities
• Promoting community self-management by developing skilled human resources to revitalize residential areas; creating guidelines for community-based town planning; and fostering community businesses
• Reinvigorating communities by actively applying the ‘know-how’ and assets of the citizens through activities such as Public Finance Initiatives
Creating a reliable medical system
• Implementing community-based medical systems by guaranteeing the number of doctors; improving the distribution of medical services due to an increase in family doctors and pharmacists; and developing a system of comprehensive care for the treatment of illnesses
• Ensuring transportation to medical facilities such as by community bus; and the implementation of wide-reaching measures such as visiting doctors or remote medicine for communities without their own doctor
• Providing a wide-reaching emergency medical system through comprehensive information sharing between fire and medical organizations; the introduction of a medical helicopter; and ensuring access to medical facilities through the road network
• Improving measures to deal with contagious diseases such as the HINI flu
[Image] Access to tertiary emergency care facilities
Key
Tertiary medical facilities
Expressways
15-30 mins
30-45 mins
45-60 mins
60 mins or more
Designed to foster, recognize, and reward excellence in commercial, non-literary translation between Japanese and English by new translators, the sixth annual awards will be given in 2010. A 450-member-strong organization of professional freelance and in-house translators and interpreters, JAT is dedicated to promoting the interests of individual translators and interpreters working between Japanese and English worldwide.
SIXTH ANNUAL JAT CONTEST FOR NEW AND ASPIRING TRANSLATORS
Sponsored by: Japan Association of Translators (JAT)
Purpose: To cultivate new talent in commercial, non-literary translation
Qualification: Anyone with less than three years of commercial translation experience. (JAT membership not required. Except for the winners, entrants in the past contests are welcome to enter again.)
Categories: Japanese-to-English and English-to-Japanese
Entry fee: Free
Awards (each category):
The First Place winner in each category will receive a free trip to IJET-21, to be held on April 24 (Sat.) and 25 (Sun.), 2010 in Miyazaki, Japan, including registration fee, round-trip ticket, and hotel accommodations (3 nights), plus a one-year membership in JAT. Each Second Place winner will receive a one-year membership in JAT.
Judges
Japanese-to-English: Malcolm James, Ken Wagner, Lee Seaman
English-to-Japanese: Ayako Sato, Yukari Ishihara, Kiyoshi Chimasu
Contest Schedule
Sep. 1, 2009 - Source texts available for downloading from the JAT website
Sep. 28, 2009 (24:00 Japan Time)- Submission deadline
Nov. 23, 2009 - Five finalists announced on JAT website
Dec. 25, 2009 - Awards announced on JAT website and by direct e-mail to the winners
April 24, 2010 - Winners invited to IJET-21 in Miyazaki.
CONTEST GUIDELINES
About the Source Text
The material to be translated will be content intended for the general public educated in the source language. Refer to Previous JAT Translation Contests for the source texts used in the previous contests.
Download the source text for the JE contest here
Download the source text for the EJ contest here
Submission Guidelines ENTRY FORM JAT Translation Contest
Submissions must be sent as an MS Word .doc file or a plain text file by file attachment with your entry form.
Your file should only contain the translated text. Do not write your name or comments.
Name the file as follows:
CONTEST E your name (e.g. CONTEST E Maria Sharapova)
Submissions will be confirmed by return e-mail.
Only one entry per person is allowed in each category.
Copyright
All submissions become the property of JAT and will not be returned.
JAT retains the copyright to all submitted entries.
JAT reserves all rights to publicize the winners’ names, winning entry, photo and/or likenesses, and background information on its web site, mailing list, and electronic or printed publications.
Judging
Entries will be judged in three stages in accordance with the evaluation criteria provided by the judging panel. The ID numbers and translations of the five finalists will be announced on JAT website on November 23, 2008.
The decision of the judges is final. There is no appeal or contesting of the results.
Awards in Detail
JAT will pay the following:
Round trip economy travel from home to IJET by the most direct route.
If traveling by train, “economy” includes a seat reservation, but excludes first class and sleeper fares.
If traveling by personal vehicle (e.g., car), base mileage allowances (as defined by the relevant tax authority) plus parking expenses (for a maximum three nights at the hotel where the winner is staying) shall be paid.
Hotel for three nights standard accommodation at or near the IJET venue.
Receipts are required for all reimbursements.
Travel arrangements and details will be discussed with the winners in advance of purchase.
Disqualification
The following are cause for disqualification.
Incomplete application
Entry received after the deadline
Entry under someone else’s name, or work done by someone other than the contestant
Dishonesty about one’s qualifications
For further information please contact [email protected]
