Designed to foster, recognize, and reward excellence in commercial, non-literary translation between Japanese and English by new translators, the seventh annual awards will be held in 2010/11. A 480-member-strong organization of professional freelance and in-house translators and interpreters, JAT is dedicated to promoting the interests of individual translators and interpreters working between Japanese and English worldwide.
SEVENTH ANNUAL JAT CONTEST FOR NEW AND ASPIRING TRANSLATORS
Source Texts
Download the source text for the Japanese-to-English contest here.
Download the source text for the English-to-Japanese contest here.
Find out more about the contest here.
See previous contests here. To view the files from the first, second and third contests, please switch your browser’s encoding to Shift-JIS.
Contest Guidelines Submission of entries
Entry form JAT Translation Contest
Submit your translation as an MS Word .doc file or a plain text file via the online entry form.
Your file should only contain the translated text. Do not write your name or comments anywhere in the file.
File naming conventions
Name your file as follows:
· Japanese-to-English category
CONTEST E your name (e.g., CONTEST E LEONARDO DICAPRIO)
· English-to-Japanese category
CONTEST J your name (e.g., CONTEST J WATANABE KEN)
Submissions will be confirmed by return e-mail.
Only one entry per person is allowed in each category.
Disqualification
You may be disqualified if:
· Your entry application is incomplete,
· Your entry is received after the deadline,
· You enter under someone else’s name,
· You submit work done by someone else, or
· You are dishonest about your qualifications.
Contest schedule
Oct. 1, 2010: Source texts available for downloading
Nov. 2, 2010 (24:00 Japan Time): Deadline for submission of entries
Dec. 21, 2010: Five finalists announced on the JAT website
Jan. 24, 2011: Awards announced on the JAT website and by direct e-mail to the winners
May 14-15, 2011: Winners invited to IJET-22 in Seattle
Judging
Entries will be judged in three stages in accordance with evaluation criteria set by the judging panel. Entries are anonymized during the judging period. We will assign an ID number to each entry and notify you of your ID number. The ID numbers and translations of the five finalists will be announced on the JAT website on December 21, 2010. First and second place winners’ names will be announced on January 24, 2011.
The decision of the judges is final. No appeals or contesting of the results will be accepted.
Judges
Japanese-to-English: Malcolm James, Ken Wagner, James Davis
English-to-Japanese: Yukari Ishihara, Kiyoshi Chimasu, Kiyoshi Fujimura
Copyright
All submissions become the property of JAT and will not be returned.
JAT retains the copyright to all submitted entries.
JAT reserves all rights to publicize the winners’ names, winning entries, photos and likenesses, and background information on its website and mailing list and in electronic or printed publications.
Awards in Detail
JAT will pay the following:
· Round trip economy travel from the winner’s home to IJET by the most direct route.
*If traveling by train, “economy” includes a seat reservation but excludes first class and sleeper fares.
**If traveling by personal vehicle (e.g., car), JAT will pay base mileage allowances (as defined by the relevant tax authority) plus parking expenses (for a maximum of three nights at the hotel where the winner is staying).
· Hotel for three nights standard accommodation at or near the IJET venue.
Receipts are required for all reimbursements.
Travel arrangements and details will be discussed with the winners in advance of purchase.
Aiming to foster, recognize, and reward excellence in commercial, non-literary translation between Japanese and English by new translators, JAT will hold its seventh annual translation contest in 2010.
JAT (Japan Association of Translators) is a 480-member-strong organization of professional freelance and in-house translators and interpreters. It is dedicated to promoting the interests of individual translators and interpreters working between Japanese and English worldwide.
Sponsored by: Japan Association of Translators (JAT)
Purpose: To cultivate new talent in commercial, non-literary translation
Eligibility: Anyone with less than three years of commercial translation experience. (JAT membership not required. Except for the winners, entrants in past contests are welcome to enter again.)
Categories: Japanese-to-English and English-to-Japanese
Entry fee: Free
Awards (each category):
The first place winner in each category will receive a free trip to the IJET-22 conference (ijet.jat.org/ijet-22/), to be held on May 14 (Sat.) and 15 (Sun.), 2011 in Seattle, WA, including registration fee, round-trip ticket, and hotel accommodation (3 nights), plus a one-year JAT membership. Each second place winner will receive a one-year JAT membership.
Judges
Japanese-to-English: Malcolm James, Ken Wagner, James Davis
English-to-Japanese: Yukari Ishihara, Kiyoshi Chimasu, Kiyoshi Fujimura
Contest Schedule
Oct. 1, 2010 - Source texts available for downloading from the JAT website
Nov. 2, 2010 (24:00 Japan Time) - Submission deadline
Dec. 21, 2010 - Five finalists announced on JAT website
Jan. 24, 2011 - Awards announced on JAT website and by direct e-mail to the winners
May 14-15, 2011 - Winners invited to IJET-22 in Seattle
The contest guidelines, together with the source texts, will be uploaded to the JAT website (www.jat.org) on October 1, 2010.
The JAT 25th Anniversary event organized by KAT will be a buffet lunch on Sunday May 16th.
Venue: Window on the World, 35F, Hilton Hotel, Osaka (Umeda) http://www.hotpepper.jp/strJ000507694/
Time: Meet at 12:30 in the lobby of the hotel
Cost:
Y638 for JAT members
Y3638 for non JAT members
Exact change please!!
Price includes soft drinks but not alcohol
Dress: smart-casual
Those interested in attending MUST rsvp to [email protected] by midday Monday May 10th.
Lunch may be followed by bowling for those interested.
Scottish Universities’ International Summer School
Text and Context:
British and Irish Literature from 1900 to the Present
SUISS Edwin Morgan Translation Fellowship (supported by the Scottish Arts Council)
During his long and prestigious career, Edwin Morgan has revolutionized contemporary Scottish literature, not least with his six decades of work in translation. Perhaps most celebrated is his translation of the poetry of Mayakovsky into Scots, but he has also worked extensively from, amongst others, French, Italian, German, Spanish, Portuguese and Hungarian poems and plays. Edwin Morgan has been a friend of SUISS for many years, giving readings and meeting students, and his work forms an important and popular part of our literature course.
Thanks to a generous donation from the Scottish Arts Council, SUISS is able to offer a free place on the 2010 six-week ‘Text and Context: British and Irish Literature from 1900 to the Present’ course. The Fellowship will be payable in Edinburgh and will cover the costs of all tuition, accommodation, most meals, the social and cultural programme, and includes full use of the facilities of the library of Edinburgh University and the National Library of Scotland. Please note that the Fellowship does not include travel expenses or spending money.
Applications for this Fellowship are invited from professional translators with an interest in twentieth-century and contemporary Scottish writing. The closing date for the award is 12th April 2010. Applicants should indicate on the application form that they would like to be considered for the Edwin Morgan Translation Fellowship, and include a letter explaining their reasons for applying, together with any details of past and/or prospective publications. We also require one of your referees to support the fellowship application, which is normally from the candidate’s publisher.
Further information can be found on the SUISS website, which also contains the facility to download an application form. A brochure, application form and credit information can also be obtained from:
The Administrator
Scottish Universities’ Telephone: 0044 131-650 4369
International Summer School Fax: 0044 131-662 0275
21 Buccleuch Place E-mail: [email protected]
EDINBURGH
The 2010 JAT election is over and the Election Committee is delighted to announce the successful candidates. The full breakdown of results has been made available for those interested.
Auditor (two-year term):
Frank Moorhead
Directors (two-year terms):
Catherine Nakamichi
Chris Blakeslee
Michael Hendry
Mark Stevenson
The 2010 JAT election is over and the Election Committee is delighted to announce the successful candidates. The full breakdown of results has been made available for those interested.
Auditor (two-year term):
Frank Moorhead
Directors (two-year terms):
Catherine Nakamichi
Chris Blakeslee
Michael Hendry
Mark Stevenson
The 2010 JAT Election Committee is pleased to announce the list of candidates standing for director or auditor in this year's elections.
First of all, the committee would like to thank each candidate for stepping forward. Without your contributions, JAT cannot continue to function in its proper form.
Also, if there are any persons who believe that they should be on the list(s), but are not, please send a mail to [email protected].
Once again, we remind members that voting runs from March 9 to 19.
Questions directed to a particular candidacy may be sent directly to the candidate, or posted on the forum. Questions concerning election details should be sent to [email protected].
Wendy McBride
Yoko Kawabe
Gary Roberts
2010 JAT Election Committee
I enjoy my current jobs on the board as membership officer and board liaison to the Website Development Advisory Committee, and would like to continue contributing for another year or two. I particularly look forward to helping usher in a new more visible and more functional JAT web presence and leveraging that presence to grow the membership base.
JAT has been instrumental in assisting me to build my career and my business. The people I have met, the seminars I have attended and the work I have put in organizing the JATKAT meetings and ProJECT Osaka have all been invaluable.
As a director of JAT I would like to put my energy into helping JAT better answer the needs of more JAT members.
Issues close to my heart include; the website, supporting organizers of IJETs and ProJECTs, PR, e juku and mentoring and regional meetings.
My name is Michael Hendry. I've been translating J>E for 12 years and I've been a JAT member for 7 years. I am one of three owners of the Honyaku mailing list. I've helped run a JAT election a few years ago.
I'm not a "committee" man at heart, but given a task I will get it done. I was one of the hard workers who helped run IJET-20 last year and even though I literally spent hundreds of hours on it, I strongly believe it was time well spent.
I'm vocal about some things, especially when I think the members are being ignored. If you vote me onto the Board, you can expect that to continue. I might not win every battle, and in fact I might not even be on your side, but I'll at least try to ensure good communication.
JAT currently has many irons in the fire but only a limited number of members who will stoke that fire. If we can do everything we are currently doing without burnout, then great. But let's not overdo things. Let's just do them right. I _won't_ be advocating for more things for an overstretched Board/membership to take on. I _will_ be taking on a role and doing it as well as possible.
I'm _against_ negative voting. I'm _for_ announcing candidates for the election as soon as they nominate. I'm _for_ a searchable archive. I'm _for_ continuing to offer members the option of accessing the list emails through their email client. I _do_ realize my opinions are different from other people's opinions - that's why decisions are not entrusted to one person only.
Having organized an IJET, I realize that this position will require many, many hours of my time, which I consider as “giving back” to my community.
I joined JAT in 1995, and have served twice as a Director. I think enough water has gone under enough bridges since my last term to warrant running for the Board again. More importantly, I see the current election as an opportunity to endorse the Board's initiatives in recent years with my own active participation therewith. I look forward to offering my experiences and perspective in working with my presumptive fellow Directors in the coming term, both on plans for the JAT Website and other ideas going forward. Thank you for your time and consideration.
I've been a JAT member for only five years. JAT's events, including IJETs, have been invaluable in helping me find a direction as a translator. Lately, I've noticed myself chatting with prospective and new JAT members and giving advice that I wish I had been able to give myself five years ago (I hope that doesn't sound immodest). I'm interested in the side of JAT that helps newer translators to develop and to care about quality, because it ultimately benefits the industry as a whole. Events like IJET and the PROJECT one-dayers are indispensable, but I would like to lay the ground work for developing a JAT style sheet or style guide, and perhaps even a best practices document. In short, I am interested in more formally documenting the immense knowledge pool of the membership in a way that will benefit all. I am also interested in running a project to document JAT's history. Thank you.
I believe that JAT's educational mission is worth supporting and JAT should have its two auditors. I therefore announce my candidacy for auditor.
As an auditor cannot make proposals and does not have a vote in Board decisions, I have no platform or set of proposals for specific JAT undertakings to announce or run on.
I have lived in Japan for 41 years, been a J-to-E translator for over 35 years, and a JAT member for over 10 years. I have decided to run for the position of Auditor both to contribute to the organization and to learn more about it. As I understand it, the Auditor’s job is to ensure the Board conducts its activities fairly and transparently in accordance with the Teikan and Bylaws and, if called upon, to inject balance into Board discussions from a neutral, objective perspective. Having served on various committees at several non-translation-related organizations, I think I have something to give in this area.
Equally important, the Auditors must ensure that all JAT’s financial dealings are fair and above board. Although I am not an accountant, I believe my experience running a couple of small companies will help me considerably in vetting JAT’s financial statements and transactions.
Under Helen Iwata, the current Board is perhaps the most dynamic I have experienced since I joined JAT, and I would like to do what I can to ensure it achieves as many of its objectives as possible. In particular, I am keen to see it resolve once and for all some extremely important long-standing problems, such as JAT’s web presence, mailing list, archives and related issues, so that future boards can move on to tackle other important questions.
Apart from what I learned from my time on the Election Committee in 2009, I do not profess to have an intimate knowledge of the regulations that govern JAT, let alone the inner workings of the Board, but have no doubt that, if elected, I shall have to acquire the necessary information very quickly. This I am happy to do.
The process for election of four JAT Board members and one auditor is ready to start! If you have some ideas for JAT and the willingness to devote time to working with Board members and other JAT members, take action! Stand for election! The only qualification you need is to have been a JAT member for the entire year preceding the deadline for candidacy statements (23:59:59 JST, March 7, 2010).
From recent JAT list postings, we know that many of you have ideas for JAT members to consider. Current and past Board members have also told us of the benefits of having served in elected positions. Moreover, with JAT’s silver jubilee this year and the many new and up-coming initiatives and activities, these are exciting times for JAT. There couldn’t be a better time to get more involved.
If you want to play an important role in JAT as a Board member or auditor, take the first step and submit a candidacy statement at: https://jat.wufoo.com/forms/jat-2010-board-candidacy/ In addition to the usual personal info on background etc., your statement should provide some indication of how you envision JAT evolving (or standing pat) toward the future. Statements will be accepted for one week only, March 1 (00:00 JST) through March 7 (23:59:59 JST).
Per JAT’s bylaws, the Election Committee will not announce the names of any candidate until the end of the registration period. However, there is nothing to stop any candidate from self-announcing their candidacy prior to that time.
Now is a great time to join JAT. Register this week and you could save 10,000 yen – the equivalent of a year’s membership.
How do you save 10,000 yen? Well, as a JAT member, you receive a 5,000 yen discount on registration to the International Japanese English Translation (IJET) Conference from Saturday to Sunday, April 24 to 25 in Miyazaki. Register for IJET by Sunday, February 28 and you’re entitled to a 2,000-yen early-bird discount. More info here: http://ijet.jat.org/ijet-21
Can’t make it to Miyazaki? You can still benefit from 3,000 yen if you participate in a celebration of JAT’s 25th anniversary with other JAT members in your locality. JAT will subsidize 3,000 yen per JAT member for any gathering of three or more JAT members between May 4 and 18 (the two-week period either side of our anniversary on May 11), provided the organiser sends us a group photograph including the day’s newspaper with the date visible. We plan to upload photos to the new website when it’s up and running. The gatherings are intended to encourage JAT members to get together to share information and develop networks.
We look forward to welcoming new members to our mailing list and events over the coming weeks!
You can download Rick Weisburd's Presentation Editing (and/or Translating) Scientific Research Manuscripts for Meaning from the January 23, 2010 Tokyo meeting using the following link:
As you have just heard from our President, the 2010 election is
now underway. With JAT’s 25th anniversary this year and
the momentum the current Board has built up, it is an exciting
time for JAT. We hope that this translates into a hotly
contested election.
As mandated by JAT’s new bylaws, the Election Committee
consists of three people. This year, we are Wendy McBride, Yoko
Kawabe and Gary Roberts.
Four director positions and one auditor position are to be
filled in this election. Following is an update on the
composition of the Board.
The current Board comprises Helen Iwata, Charles Aschmann, Fred
Uleman, Phil Robertson, James Phillips, Chris Blakeslee, Peter
Durfee and Manako Ihaya. The auditors are Emily Shibata-Sato and
Wolfgang Bechstein.
Of these, Helen Iwata, Charles Aschmann, Fred Uleman, Phil
Robertson (directors) and Emily Shibata-Sato (auditor) are
incumbents and not up for election.
James Phillips, Chris Blakeslee and Peter Durfee have reached
the end of their first terms and are able to run again. Manako
Ihaya and Wolfgang Bechstein have served four out of the last
six years and are not able to run again in this election.
The election schedule is as follows. Be aware that the timeframe
has changed from previous years. Please refer to the latest JAT
bylaws concerning elections at http://jat.org/about/bylaws/#a3.
*March 1 (00:00 JST)—March 7 (23:59:59 JST): Submission of
candidate statements
Members seeking to stand for election should fill in the form at
the following URL: https://jat.wufoo.com/forms/jat-2010-board-candidacy/ in English
or Japanese (up to 300 words or 600 characters).
In addition to the usual personal info on background etc., the
statement should provide some indication of how the candidate
envisions JAT evolving (or standing pat) toward the future. A
digest of the candidate statements will be sent to the JAT mail
list and posted on the JAT website at the start of the polling
in the second week of March.
Per the bylaws, candidates will need to supply full name,
gender, nationality, address of current residence, home
telephone number, and e-mail address. Candidates must have been
JAT members for the entire year preceding the deadline for
submitting candidacy statements. For further info, again, we
recommend taking a look at Section III of the JAT bylaws at the
link above.
*March 9 (00:00 JST)—March 19 (23:59:59 JST): Voting
period
Votes will be cast at a Wufoo site to be announced shortly. Each
member may cast five votes in this election; that is, one vote
for or against four candidates for director and one vote for or
against one candidate for auditor. This is a change from the
last election (again, please refer to the latest bylaws).
As soon as possible after the close of the election, but no
later than March 31 (20:00 JST), the net votes for each
candidate (sum of positive and negative votes) will be posted to
the mailing list. Complete ballot breakdown info for each
candidate will be available on the website for those interested.
Active candidacy participation in this election is vital for
JAT’s continuing evolution and greater effectiveness in
serving you, the members. More importantly, PLEASE VOTE.
There’s no reason not to! JAT is here for you.
Wendy McBride
Yoko Kawabe
Gary Roberts
2010 JAT Election Committee
● “Here are some helpful hints for you to consider”
その前の文章”… is to be prepared.”とうまくつなげて訳せるかどうかがポイント。
訳例: 「高齢のご家族の介護に備えて、暴風雨対策をしておくのも良いかもしれません。その際は、以下のヒントをお役立てください。」
● ”… during the power outrages and the lack of services that were not available.”
"services”は公共サービス、あるいはutility （水道やガス）とは限らない｡通信、医療、交通、保育・介護関連、店舗開業、商品配達、ごみ収集、郵便なども考えられる。
● 項目１“Stock up on incontinent supplies such as diapers, baby wipes…,
”such as”がどこまでさすのかは、2通りに解釈できる。 第１に、おしめ以外の「パンツやパッド」が省略されている（”incontinent supplies such as adult diapers (＋ pants ＋ pads)”という解釈（近所のドラッグストアの介護用品コーナーをチェックしました）。もう１つは、お尻ふきや手袋も含んだ ”such as diapers ＋ baby wipes ＋ gloves”という解釈（これらも介護用品コーナーに並んでいた）。またglovesは、介護の業界では「グローブ」とカタカナで使う例もあるようだが、一般にはまだ野球やボクシングで使うものを連想するのではないか？
● 項目1 “…and other personal care supplies”
“personal + care supplies(個人用介護用品)” とも解釈できるが、ここは”personal care +supplies” （パーソナルケア製品＝ヘアケア、オーラルケア、スキンケア、オーラルケアなど、体の手入れのために用いられる製品一般）ではないか。ただしGoogleで画像検索をすると、いずれも似たようなものが出てくる。
● 項目3 “These lights provide more room lighting like they are used to…,”
“more…like”「ランタン型は、一点を照らす懐中電灯より広い範囲を照らすので、いつもの照明の状態に近い」ということ。キャンプに持っていくようなランタンでは「通常より明るく」はならないと思う。
● 項目5 ”Your elder”
頻出するが、一々訳さなくても、文脈からわかる場合もある。
● 項目5 “Houston 、TX…Houston-Harris County 211 Special Needs Transportation Registry.”
テキサス＿州＿のハリス郡のなかにヒューストン＿市＿がある（呼び方や並べ方が不自然な人がいた。日本語では通常「東京都渋谷区・・・」のように列挙する）。“Special Needs Transportation” は、ワシントン州の法律では次のように定義されている：People with special transportation needs are defined in state law as people, including their attendants, who because of physical or mental disability, income status, or age, are unable to transport themselves or purchase transportation. [47.06B.012 RCW]. “Transport”は 英語ではヒトにもモノにも使うが、日本語の「輸送」や「搬送」は主にモノが対象である。交通分野でヒトを集合的に扱う際に「輸送（例：大量輸送機関）」、医療や介護の世界では自力で動けないヒトを運ぶのに「搬送（例：重傷者の搬送）」を使うが、いずれもヒトをひとりの人間として扱わない場合のような気がする。ちなみに日本には「災害時要援護者登録制度」がある。
● 項目6 “businesses…if they have no power…”
ここでは「ビジネス」は適当ではない。“power”は「力」と解釈していた人が多かったが、ここは「電気」。透析時の停電対策例はこちら。http://202.216.128.227/透析百科/25.03.htm
● “Always remember that your… that are out of the ordinary. Hurricanes certainly can be classified as not normal.”
この２つの文章は、たとえば”out of the ordinary”と “not normal”を「非常時」で統一して、「忘れてはならないのは、非常時には高齢者は混乱しがちだという点だ。そしてハリケーンはまさに『非常時』だといえるだろう」などと訳すと、すらっと読める。
No.114
項目１で解釈のちがいによる訳抜け（”and other personal care supplies”）があったのと、「お年寄り」とそれに対応する文体の使い方、項目６の「お年寄りを救う力を失った場合」、あるいは項目８の「予備として手動の車いすをお年寄りのために準備しておいた方がよいかもしれません」という冗長表現などが減点対象となりました。項目３（「・・・慣れ親しんでいる室内照明に近いうえ」）の訳し方は、5人の中で一番よかったと思います。
想像：課題文は表現が豊かな文章で、状況が目に浮かんで来ませんか？翻訳者としてではなく、まず一読者として原文を読み、自分がその立場になったときのことを想像してみてください。「very uncertain of changes」とはどのような状況なのでしょうか。柔らかい赤ちゃんのお尻を拭くのに使うのは「ペーパータオル」でしょうか？「ランタン型の照明」は「室内照明よりも明るく」というと少々無理がある気がします。「medications」を「常備薬」とすると、処方されている薬だから簡単には手に入らないから困るのだ、という著者の意図があまり伝わってきません。
140番
「予期することが不得手」「考慮すべき点」は、誤訳（超訳？）です。また「考慮すべき点をいくつかあげよう。」の一文は、文章の流れを止めてしまっているように感じました。「排泄処理用品」「ウェットティッシュ」は、もう一度リサーチしてください。「自分」および「これ」は、常にとは限りませんが使い方によってはレジスターが低くなるので注意してください。「Locate businesses your elder…」の文章には、「サービス提供者」「酸素提供者」「バックアップ対応」とこなれていない表現が集中しています。「没頭するのに良い手段」は唐突な印象があり、強いて「没頭」を使うとしても「嵐のことを忘れて没頭するには良い手段」の方が読み易い通常の日本語の語順ではないでしょうか。「平常でない状況の時」は、冗長表現と感じます（「非常時」で十分では？）。「少し気楽なもの」「支援方法」、「公共サービス」、「地区」は、ワードチョイスの問題として減点しました。
The judges of the 6th annual JAT translation contest for new and aspiring translators (Japanese to English) have made their final decision, and the results are as follows:
There were 39 entrants and the semi-finalists in the Japanese to English division, in order of the numbers assigned to their entries, were:
99. Monica Kassab
108. Jillian Nonaka
120. Jason Morgan
123. Stephen Jensen
162. Elise Kavanagh
After much deliberation, the judges awarded prizes as follows:
First place: No. 162, Elise Kavanagh
Second place: No. 108, Jillian Nonaka
Many thanks to everyone who applied. Choosing the winners was a difficult task, given the number of entries and their level. Even if you did not win, we hope you found the contest to be a challenging and worthwhile exercise, and we hope that some of you will try again next year.
Charles Aschmann
Manako Ihaya
Contest Liaison
Commentaries from the Judges
Malcolm James
The stated purpose of the contest is "to cultivate new talent in commercial non-literary translation." In judging, I was trying to find the person with the most talent to become a top commercial translator, not the person who produced the best translation at this stage. Simple misinterpretations are likely to disappear with experience, so I regard them as less of a problem than if this were an actual commercial translation. I’m much less willing, however, to be lenient on translators who submit a translation that doesn’t seem to have got a final read-through, or who produce a translation that doesn’t seem to have considered the document’s context and purpose. Each of the entries commented on below has its own merits and displays the signs of a competent translator. All the finalists have the potential to be good commercial translators and are to be congratulated on their efforts.
General points
This year's passage for translation was very dense. Careful reading of both the passage and of its context on the website were essential to ensure full understanding. The translators consequently had to do a lot of research, both to confirm the meaning of the original, and to check appropriateness of phrasing for the translation. The section on medical infrastructure proved particularly difficult, with none of the finalists or other entrants producing a completely "correct" translation. However, the difficulty of the task gave the entrants a good opportunity to demonstrate their skills at translating with both accuracy and readability.
Specific points for #099
This translation was easy to read, and had some very good phrasing. Examples that stood out include "offer telecommuting options," and "for children who need a place to go after school." However, simplifications to aid legibility often went too far, resulting in mistranslations such as a "City of 42 Million" (not just one city, surely) and "Pedestrian crossing with bicycle lane ..." (the crossing in the photo doesn't appear to have a separate bicycle lane.) The translator writes well, so further improvement would come from going through the Japanese text again after finishing the translation to check that all the content of the original has been covered.
Specific points for #108
This translation was well written and easy to read, but there were areas where it hinted that the translator did not really understand the document and how it related to the overall context. For instance, this document was one page of a pdf containing basically one project per page, so it seemed odd to have "projects" plural in the title. Also, it seems odd to say "we are working to ..." in the introductory paragraph when the project has not yet got the goahead. In contrast, subsection titles were well thought out and well translated. I particularly liked "Revitalizing our planned communities" for succinctly conveying the basic point that the Japanese postwar New Towns are no longer new. How to improve? Think more about the overall context to gain a deeper understanding of the document before translating. A "reality check" of the finished translation would also be helpful. For instance, look at the map and ask, "does Tokyo really only have about a dozen highways?" With a deeper understanding of the documents to be translated, the translation and writing skills shown here provide the potential for this entrant to become a very good translator.
Specific points for #120
The translator had obviously understood the overall context of the document and tried hard to convey all the meaning, showing flair for translation through phrases like "... running community buses." However, the translation was let down by being hard to read and by mistranslations such as "flex-time" and "typical" sidewalk (probably "ideal"/"model"). The mistranslations are likely to disappear as the translator gains experience, so to improve, the translator needs to work on his/her style. Start by looking for instance at how 108 handled the introductory paragraph, expressing almost the same information in only half the number of words.
Specific points for #123
This translation had some very good translations of the public sector terminology, and fewer errors than any of the other finalists but sometimes ending up being more difficult to read than the original. For instance, the introductory paragraph could have been shorter or split into more than one sentence. However, I particularly liked phrases such as "diverse housing options," integrated components," and "repurposing." The danger of adding explanations to the original was demonstrated by adding a note that defined the Tokyo metropolitan region in a way that incorrectly excluded places like Hachioji. Improvement would come by spending more time on rephrasing the translation for legibility without losing the accuracy that is this translator's strong point.
Specific points for #162
This translation was a little hard to read, but achieved a good overall balance between readability and accuracy. Most importantly, the translator gave the impression of having largely understood what the text was talking about. This understanding was then enhanced by neat but still accurate translations such as "Ensuring ample space for bicycles and pedestrians." How to improve? First of all, I strongly recommend doing a rigorous numbers and omissions check before delivery. That would probably eliminate embarrassing errors such as putting 2005 in the future and missing out one of the captions. Overall though, this was the translation that most demonstrated the entrant's potential to become a top commercial translator.
Ken Wagner
"Let's 徹底 Everything"
Subject line of a query on the Honyaku
mailing list ([email protected])
At the very moment I submit this commentary, a five-day-long debate on the Honyaku mailing list continues to rage over how to handle the relentless overuse of 徹底(する) in a piece of hyperbolic company literature. A reasonable suggestion was to consider 徹底 an adverb and insert the appropriate verb (do whatever thoroughly, exhaustively, meticulously, comprehensively, rigorously). The thread has grown to almost 50 messages, has apparently spawned some hurt feelings, and has still not abated.
The Honyaku poster's quandary with 徹底 embodies one of the major challenges facing this year's JAT Translation Contest participants – translating a message that could easily be obscured by bureaucratese. The number of responses evoked by the 徹底 question on the Honyaku list is evidence of the difficultly – or at least the labor – involved in rendering trite bureaucratic jargon into readable and informative English. I would therefore like to say early on that all five finalists did an excellent job of circumventing the bureaucratese to bring a clear message to the reader. For fairness' sake, however, it should probably also be said that in some instances, these words were actually used to convey their basic meanings.
The passage for the Japanese to English portion of 2009 JAT Translation Contest was 人口4,200万人が暮らしやすく美しい地域の実現 – a piece of fairly interesting and valuable information obscured by a familiar list of bureaucratic buzzwords – 徹底, 充実, 実現, 推進, 促進, 提供, and 整備. The contest passage is a development plan for residential communities for a Greater Tokyo Area coping with a rapidly aging population and declining birthrate. The passage was taken from the website of the Regional Development Bureau of the Japanese Ministry of Land, Infrastructure, Transport, and Tourism.
Judging Technique and Results
To evaluate the translations, I first read them without referring to the Japanese text and ranked them based on the sound of the English and whether they seem to make sense. (In the case of this year's JAT contest, I hadn't seen Japanese text for at least two months.) I then use a modified form of the ATA grading scale to mark errors and examples of particularly good writing or interpretation and obtain negative and positive numerical scores. I also compared the translations of a list of key terms to assess the amount of research done and, as a result, how familiar the entrants seemed to be with the subject matter. This produced a numerical score for amount of research done. I then compared these numerical scores with my initial subjective judgments and made a final subjective decision on which translation was best conformed to the translation instructions at the beginning of the passage and also demonstrated potential for growth on the part of the translator.
When I read the entries without reference to the Japanese text (after not looking at the Japanese text for a couple of months), I ranked Elise Kavanagh's entry the highest for subjective impression. It was smooth and tightly written and contained very few translation artifacts. After Elise, Monica Kassab, Jillian Nonaka, and Jason Morgan's entries seemed equal in readability to me, although Jason's had obviously been filled out with explanatory information not evident in the other translations. Stephen Jensen's entry had more of a translated sound to my ear, although it turned out to be quite accurate.
I modified the ATA grading scale for the JAT contest. The actual ATA scale only identifies errors (misunderstanding, grammatical errors, inappropriate register, etc.). I added a positive scale to reflect traits like accuracy and elegance (or eloquence) and to produce a positive score for lines that were translated well.
Using the ATA grading scale, the results were Jillian Nonaka (negative, 55; positive, 33), Elise Kavanagh (negative, 66; positive, 30), Stephen Jensen (negative, 77; positive, 26), and Monica Kassab (negative, 93; positive, 28), and Jason Morgan (negative, 96; positive, 19).
I tried to evaluate the amount of research done independent of language comprehension and target writing errors. To do this, I selected 12 key words that identify how much research or reading on the subject was done. The terms or translations I preferred could be found by 1) reading county social service or urban planning websites from the United States (e.g., http://dentoncounty.com/socialservices.asp for social services), 2) searching the term in question alone in quotes on Google and working through to an English definition (e.g., through Wikipedia), or 3) searching the term and とは in quotes on Google. The terms were:
1. 福祉 (social services, not welfare)
2. 子育て (not child-rearing)
3. 重層的 (something like multi-tiered)
4. 保育所 (something like daycare, not nursery [school])
5. 介護 (something like assisted living, not nursing home)
6. 視覚障害者誘導用ブロック (tactile paving, truncated domes, detectable warnings, tactile ground surface indicators, detectable warning surfaces)
7. イメージ (artist's conception when appropriate)
8. ニュウータウン等 (explained in some way)
9. デイサービスセンター (identified as a facility for seniors)
10. (疾病ごとの)医療連携体制 (translation shows a description has been read in Japanese)
11. 消防 (emergency services, not firemen/fire department)
12. 新型インフレンザ (this year, H1N1)
Here, "yes" means the rendering of a term shows evidence of research/reading on the subject and "no" means the rendering doesn't show that research was done. The scores were, in descending order: Elise Kavanagh (yes, 7 terms; no, 5 terms), Jason Morgan (yes, 6½ terms; no, 5½ terms), Jillian Nonaka (yes, 4 terms; no, 8 terms), Stephen Jensen (yes, 4 terms; no, 8 terms), and Monica Kassab (yes, 2½ terms; no, 9½ terms).
As a result, Elise Kavanagh and Jillian Nonaka came out in the lead, but were very close. Elise had the highest subjective impression and research scores. Jillian had the highest modified ATA score (accuracy and individual flashes of eloquence), was in third place for research, and was in a three-way tie for second place in subjective impression.
Individual Renderings
I should repeat that Elise Kavanagh and Jillian Nonaka were very close, very little distinguished the two. In fact, one judge chose Jillian's as the first-place entry, and quite a bit of deliberation among the judges was required before finally deciding on Elise's entry. I selected Elise's entry because objectively, Elise appeared to have done the most research and, subjectively, the translation elicited the most positive visceral reaction on the initial read. This difference may have rested on only a few key words and phrases that made Elise's version seem less translated. For example, Elise simply stated that the Tokyo area population will peak, used the term "multi-tiered" (approach), and avoided a translated sound in the turn of phrase "supporting families and ensuring the safety and security of children." While Jillian Nonaka had many turns of phrase that I considered eloquent, the use of the following English terms and phrases may have triggered a negative visceral reaction: "child-rearing" (antiquated), "stratified plans" (in this context), "nursery schools" (antiquated), and the phrase "setting up nursery schools during the renovation of public housing complexes" (rather than something "like incorporating daycare centers into public housing").
As for the three remaining contestants, who all turned in good translations, Jason Morgan's chief misstep was over-explaining the text, perhaps explaining it to himself, while Monica Kassab sacrificed meaning for elegant English. I can sympathize Jason and Monica and do not consider these missteps an obstacle to further development because I went through both of these phases myself. Where Elise and others simply translated 公共賃貸宅等の建替えに併せた福祉施設の併設・誘致 as something like "housing redevelopments which include or attract new welfare centers," Jason said "building welfare facilities in conjunction with the rebuilding of public housing projects and inviting bids for similar construction projects." While bids and construction projects may be required, there was no mention of them in the text and this is information that the reader can figure out for himself (or doesn't need to know, depending upon whether he is a potential resident or contractor). At the other end of the spectrum, Monica dropped large pieces of text for the sake of elegance. She translated 地域内の医師の確保方策の推進、かかりつけ医やかかりつけ薬局の普及による適切な医療の機能分担の推進、疾病ごとの医療連携体制の構築など地域医療体制の充実 (accomplish x by doing three things) as "promote the increased use of local doctors and pharmacies to properly distribute the burden on these facilities" (accomplish x by doing two things). This rendering omitted 疾病ごとの医療連携体制の構築 – develop coordinated response systems for individual diseases. Monica also omitted similar units of meaning in other passages in other passages.
Once again, I would like to express my appreciation for the effort and care that went into the translations in this year's contest, thank all of the contestants for participating, and congratulate the finalists and winner.
Lee Seaman
Comments on JAT Translation Contest entries
This was an excellent group of translations. My compliments to all of the finalists, and my thanks to the organizers of the contest for providing this showcase for new translation talent.
This is a challenging piece. In order to make sense of it, the translator had to not only convey the meaning of the Japanese words, but also to understand the document in the context of Japanese society and public housing policy.
Each finalist made at least a few errors. My picks for first and second place were those passages that I felt most clearly communicated the underlying meaning of the Japanese with the fewest areas of serious misunderstanding.
Working premises
The instructions for the contest were clear. The translation is for a government website, publication quality, for native English speaking readers, and the translator is to incorporate explanatory notes if necessary.
Based on these instructions, I made the assumption that the translation should be easy to read and friendly in tone (more so, for example, than a journal article on a study of innovative cancer therapy in lab rats). So in addition to looking for translation accuracy, I also evaluated each passage on how well it conveyed the message of the original text, and I penalized awkward expressions more than I would in a translation that was primarily for information.
General comments
Here are three points in the Japanese document that I thought were particularly challenging.
1) 地域優良賃貸住宅
This caption in the second figure was translated by the five finalists as “deluxe public housing,” “high-quality rental apartments,” “high quality apartments,” “high quality local rental housing,” and “local upscale apartment complex.” The judges had a lively discussion over this term, too, including some very helpful input from one of the E-J judges, who told us that 地域優良賃貸住宅 is a relatively new system combining 特定優良賃貸住宅（「特優賃」とくゆうちん） and 高齢者向け優良賃貸住宅（「高優賃」こうゆうちん）and that probably the reference in this case is to（「高優賃」）.
I found a useful paper at http://www.city.oshu.iwate.jp/www/contents/1221024338243/files/seibikijun.pdf. Chapter 4 describes the augmentations that are specified for senior residences; they are not really “luxury” or “upscale” so much as they are designed for the safety and comfort of seniors living alone. So one possible translation would be “public housing with augmented safety features for seniors.” But of course that means adding quite a lot of material that is not included in the text. I would probably translate it as “senior-friendly public housing” or “rental housing with augmented features,” and add a note asking the client to confirm.
2) New Town
Two translators left this “as is” in the English translation. Although the term “New Town” is widely used in English, in this case the term is combined with 再生,so clearly these “new towns” are actually quite old. To reduce reader confusion (“Why are they revitalizing a new town?”) I would recommend “planned community” or “planned residential community” instead.
3) 地域子育て支援拠点の整備等乳幼児を持つ親が気軽に交流・相談できる場の提供
The term 乳幼児 is often translated, even in J-E medical dictionaries, as “infant,” but that is incorrect. An infant is technically a child under 12 months old, and the word is not used much in casual speech. “Babies, toddlers, and preschoolers” would be accurate here, but the best translation in this context is simply “small children.”
Individual comments
1) No. 162
A workmanlike translation that does a good job of communicating the meaning of the website. Prose is straightforward and clean. The heading “5. An urban development initiative to meet the needs of a society with a low birth rate and an aging population” is particularly clear, and sets the tone for the remainder of the article.
The statement that “ … the population over the age of 65 years will grow to 20% in 2005 and 30% in 2025” implies that this article was written before 2005. It should have been “ … will grow from 20% in 2005 to 30% in 2025.” And toward the end of the article, “ … fire and medical organizations” would be easier to read if it were restated as “fire departments and medical organizations,” or even “fire departments (ambulance) and medical organizations” for greater clarity.
The author of No.162 appears to be a very competent translator, but some of the English phrases sound a little awkward to my ear. This could be improved by working for awhile with an experienced editor, and perhaps by reading translations aloud after they are finished. (I read most of my translations aloud during checking, and always find awkward spots that didn’t show up during writing.)
2) No. 108
Very readable prose, with some beautifully translated phrases. In a document like this, headings are especially important for communicating the underlying message, and No. 108 provided some excellent headings, including “good for everyone in an aging society,” “revitalizing our planned communities,” and “constructing a medical system that instills a sense of safety and peace of mind.
Unfortunately this translation also has a relatively high percentage of errors and potentially confusing expressions. I found two major examples. On page 1, “renting out housing that belongs to senior citizens” suggests that the government might be taking away the houses of seniors. On page 3, “Wide sidewalks for pedestrians which resolve the problems of height differences” does not mention that these new wide sidewalks are for bicyclists as well as pedestrians, and “height differences” confused me. (Will all pedestrians be the same height?) Something like “curb-free crosswalks” would work better.
Passage #108 shows real writing talent. Additional attention to accuracy will provide a promising future in translation.
Other translations:
No. 099: A good translation, fluent and easy to read, and provides a good impression of the website, but less clear and with a higher level of errors and awkward expressions than the two winners. For example, “the borrowing and rerenting of houses” is confusing, and suggests that the government will take elderly people’s homes without paying. ニュータウン等の再生 was translated as “Creating the New Town,” which implies that new communities will be built from scratch. “Rejuvenating” would be a better choice. In the section on rebuilding the healthcare system, “ … use of local doctors and pharmacies to properly distribute the burden on these facilities” should have been something like “… use of local doctors and pharmacies to redistribute the overall burden on medical facilities,” and no reference to telemedicine was included for 遠隔医療.The translation of photo captions was generally good; my favorite is “Pedestrian crossing with bicycle lane and no curb.”
No. 120: A good command of technical language, and very precise, but a little stilted and wordy for this particular passage. For example, in the first sentence, “As a consequence of the realities of Japanese society, which is becoming increasingly elderly, on average with a steadily decreasing number of children being conceived” could be rewritten as “Japanese society is growing older, with fewer children born every year, and …” 疾病ごとの医療連携体制の構築 refers to developing a coordinated medical response for specific diseases; if that is what was meant by linking “individual hospitals into a wider medical care network,” the connection should be spelled out in greater detail. I really liked the caption, “Artist’s rendition of an integrated complex featuring public housing projects and social welfare facilities.”
No. 123: A solid translation, indicating a good understanding of the material, with some very well-crafted expressions and some unfortunate awkward spots. Awkward expressions included “amplifying information exchange” (I would recommend “expediting” or “improving” rather than “amplifying”) and “fostering businesses who take on local issues” (“encouraging businesses to take on local issues” would be easier to understand). Errors included the omission of “tertiary” in the Japanese expression 三次救急医療機関,and the erroneous use of “intensive care” rather than “emergency” in that same passage. Some of my personal favorites were “mobile clinics and telemedicine,” “ostomate-accessible toilets,” “Stimulate civic involvement in local town management,” and “promoting physician recruitment strategies.”
A final word
This year’s documents were generally quite clearly formatted. Several candidates used italics to set off the caption headings, making them easier to find on the page, and one person even cut out the graphics from the Japanese PDF and pasted them into the English document. That’s not required, but it does make the job of the judge or client easier. (In that light, I recommend that future candidates format their passages in proportional font rather than monospaced font like Courier or MS Gothic – the files come to the judges as PDFs, and proportional font is generally much easier to read when we print the documents out for review.)
I also strongly recommend that you ask questions of your colleagues if you are not sure of the meaning of a certain phrase or paragraph. Obviously it is unethical to have someone else translate the document for you, or to substantially rewrite what you have translated. But the JAT contest is designed to be somewhat like a “real” translation job for an actual translation agency, and one test of a good translator is his or her network of experts on call. If your native language is English, develop some knowledgeable NSJ friends with whom you exchange information. A number of the errors in these passages could have been avoided by a few strategic questions to a trusted colleague.
Again, my congratulations to all contestants on a job well-done. I look forward to watching your growth as translation professionals.
SIXTH ANNUAL JAT CONTEST FOR NEW AND ASPIRING TRANSLATORS FINAL RESULTS (Japanese to English)
The judges of the 6th annual JAT translation contest for new and aspiring translators (Japanese to English) have made their final decision, and the results are as follows:
There were 39 entrants and the semi-finalists in the Japanese to English division, in order of the numbers assigned to their entries, were:
99. Monica Kassab
108. Jillian Nonaka
120. Jason Morgan
123. Stephen Jensen
162. Elise Kavanagh
After much deliberation, the judges awarded prizes as follows:
First place: No. 162, Elise Kavanagh
Second place: No. 108, Jillian Nonaka
Many thanks to everyone who applied. Choosing the winners was a difficult task, given the number of entries and their level. Even if you did not win, we hope you found the contest to be a challenging and worthwhile exercise, and we hope that some of you will try again next year.
Links to the source text and write-up from Helen Iwata’s translation workshop at PROJECT Osaka in November 2009, based on the October session of e-Juku are below. If you are interested in participating in e-Juku, please contact [email protected] with “e-Juku” in the subject line.
The JAT Board is delighted to announce that the venue for IJET-22 will be Seattle, Washington. This event will take place in 2011. Further details will be announced as they become available.
Seattle edged out a very strong bid from Monterey, California, and this reflects well on the willingness of far-flung JAT members to step forward and host JAT events. The Board would like to extend its sincere thanks to both bid committees.